humansofny “I’m committed to finishing this. I’m on page 83 right now. I haven’t finished anything in a long time. So even if I only read ten pages a day, I’m going to finish. I just need to prove to myself that I can. After graduation I moved back to my hometown. I just wanted to recharge. But I’d been away for so long that I didn’t know who I was anymore. My bedroom was exactly the same. My NYU acceptance letter was still hanging on the wall. My varsity letter jacket was in the closet. I had this wooden peg with like twenty academic medals on it. I’d always been the smart one in our family. Everyone thought I was going to do so much. But somehow I’d lost my way. I’d gone to this big city, and gotten this big education, and I’d wasted it all. I have no idea what to do with my life. Even my laugh has changed. It used to be my favorite thing about myself. But now it sounds hollow. Like I’m faking it. Or just mimicking other people. I feel like I’m not a whole person. I used to read so much as a kid. I finished War and Peace when I was thirteen. So I just need to prove to myself that I can finish this. Maybe if I can finish one thing, it’ll open me up to that girl again. The one who knew everything and what she wanted to be.”

Aug 12, 2019 4:31 PM 0